Jas is on the podcast and today we talk about Jasmine's journey with mental health and wellness. We talk about the potential long-term effects of trauma, feelings of numbness and depression, and Jas provides some tips on how she's working to re-connect with her life and aliveness after struggling to get out of bed in the morning, struggling with self-care, and struggling to go to work; Jasmine calls this re-connection with self "hiking through life". You're going to love this interview!!
In today's episode, we discuss:
Connect with Jas:
Instagram: @the_bipolar_badass
Podcast: The Bipolar Badass
Book recommendations:
Related Podcast Episodes:
Bria Wannamaker, RP.
@betterboundariespodcast
www.briawannamaker.com
Support the show, buy COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
As always, please remember that these podcast episodes are for educational purposes only and are not a substitute for medical healthcare or mental healthcare. Podcasts are available as an educational and entertainment resource and are not advice, recommendations, or suggestions. Please seek out the necessary professional services if you require assistance.
Jas is on the podcast and today we talk about Jasmine's journey with mental health and wellness. We talk about the potential long-term effects of trauma, feelings of numbness and depression, and Jas provides some tips on how she's working to re-connect with her life and aliveness after struggling to get out of bed in the morning, struggling with self-care, and struggling to go to work; Jasmine calls this re-connection with self "hiking through life". You're going to love this interview!!
In today's episode, we discuss:
Connect with Jas:
Instagram: @the_bipolar_badass
Podcast: The Bipolar Badass
Book recommendations:
Related Podcast Episodes:
Bria Wannamaker, RP.
@betterboundariespodcast
www.briawannamaker.com
Support the show, buy COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
As always, please remember that these podcast episodes are for educational purposes only and are not a substitute for medical healthcare or mental healthcare. Podcasts are available as an educational and entertainment resource and are not advice, recommendations, or suggestions. Please seek out the necessary professional services if you require assistance.
you've had these traumas, you've been denied your your emotions for so long and you are. Kind of getting back into your back into your body back into your feelings back into being able to speak your truth.
Hey, welcome Jasmine to the Better Boundaries Podcast. I'm so happy that you're here and I'm excited for a chat. I am too. I am so pumped to talk to you and just kind of get to get to know you and how you operate this podcast. That'd be awesome. Yeah. OK, so before we dive in. And I know we're gonna be talking like a lot of mental health today. Can you maybe tell folks a bit about you? What lights you up? What do you like to do in your spare time? And just a bit of your background, a bit of your mental health journey. So I am actually
a mental health kind of fanatic. I've always been into like the self help guru type stuff. And then I realized that when I started diving into more clinical psychology type of stuff that I related to a lot of these things that were deeper like these deep depressions and the high highs of bipolar mania. And then I started realizing when I was in started being in relationships I related to. The relationship side of BPD and things like that. So I started talking to doctors about this. This is not something you self diagnose or just TikTok diagnose. These are things you definitely talk to doctors about. So I started talking to doctors about them and found out that some of them were things that I actually had and some of them were things I actually needed to work on to figure out how to better my life. So they didn't affect me every day.
Oh my gosh. That's huge. And like what a big step to to identify with those different symptoms and and recognizing like, having a selfawareness to recognize and reflect on, Oh my gosh, I feel like I do this and that takes so much courage to not like blame other people in relationship and like, Oh yeah, I reacted like that, but it's because this person did that. And that's huge like so you took that into your own hands you talked to doctors. What's it been like since honestly I'm just starting the since I actually got diagnosed AT28 with bipolar and 29 with BPD. So I I spent a lot of time kind of ignoring these diagnosis and I I didn't take them seriously at first. I I read a lot of stuff on them and related to it. But didn't think that it was that important. Like I say, go to a doctor because I didn't for a long time. I suffered and tried to treat myself and tried to do things that just
are helpful at 1st and then you realize I need something deeper to help me.
Yeah, 100%. And I love that because we always want other people to have the advice that like we didn't have and especially like I know those diagnosis come with a whole host of like potentially not for everybody, but past like traumas, different childhood traumas and that a lot of it can be the way we emotionally related like whoever. Is experiencing these diagnosis the way they emotionally related to their parents, The way they had their attachment trauma or attachment wounding and that some some of those relationships with parents was sweeping emotions under the rug And was saying like, you're overreacting, you're being too sensitive. And being, you know, punished for feeling feelings and instead of, like, honored for them. So of course that's the person who's going to put off going to the doctor the longest. Because it's like, I should be able to handle this. I've got this, I'm overreacting. I should be able to push through. Why is this person doing fine at work? But I, like, literally can't go to work? Sadly, yeah. And when I But that's when I started realizing I need to take action when I couldn't do my job. Because college was one thing, like struggling through college. Everybody struggles a little bit in college because you're young and you're figuring it out. And then I was still struggling and still struggling. And not to say you don't struggle as an adult anyways, like some struggle as normal as an as a young adult, don't get me wrong. But I was struggling in the sense of I couldn't get up and go to work. I wasn't just struggling to. Do my job. I was struggling to get out of bed, so I knew there was it was time to get some action and go see somebody. And
yeah, yeah, that's huge. Can you talk a little bit more about that, like the struggling to get out of bed, the struggling to do basic. Things like even the showering and just like the heaviness of that and what that feels like. Yeah, heaviness is such a good word for it because it's just like my body is so heavy and I don't know how many people can relate to that. Just like that heavy feeling all over your body where getting out of bed is like you're lifting a weight. And then you add in these other things that you like. If you have a very active job, you add in these other things like I have to go up the stairs. You're telling me I have to go up the stairs at work.
I have to,
I don't know, like anything that's active or
as well, just like you said, with showering and just the basic needs, showering, making sure you're getting in three meals that are. Relatively healthy because it's so easy to just go grab a bag of tortilla chips because you don't care what it tastes like, you just want like some salt and to go.
So it's so easy to grab the wrong food in those situations too, and just end up completely
lacking in all of your.
Hair techniques. So then you aren't doing well because of that too. And that's where I really like to have it track. And it can help pull you, or it helps pull me out of these places where I don't even know what I'm not doing.
Yeah, okay, that's a neat. Technique and maybe touch on some other things that you've used. So I know you say you're in like the the since diagnosis right now you're in that space of like okay. Well where do I go from here? How do I move forward with all of this? So have it tracking, what is that and is there anything else that you're doing right now to like move the needle?
I would say, like I said, habit tracking is my number one, but I do like 5 root habits that give me the energy to do the rest of my life. So I like to think of them the root of the roots of my stability. And they they're things like exercise, so moving my body every day. Eating something healthy every day, so not just having like I'm really bad about just like eating just junk food. It's terrible. So I will say eating two healthy meals today or eating 1/2 healthy meals today. So I'm starting it out right now instead of getting this habit that is completely out of reach for me at the moment.
And then other habits that are really helping me. And it all starts, like I said, with habit tracking for me. But
it also has to do with things like am I doing things like breath work or meditation to get into my body and feel again? Because when we have experienced and when we have experienced some traumas in our life, whatever those traumas may be, whether they be big tea traumas or little tea traumas, one of one of the creators I listen, listen to uses that. And it's like so accurate because not all of us has been through the big tea trauma, but the little tea trauma can also have a huge impact on how we interact and how we are existing. So true, yeah.
Okay. I love that. I love that you have the five roots. And then when you say that you're tracking habits, do you like literally write things down, or is it making a mental note of things? Or it's on your phone? What is that? I use a habit tracker on my phone. I actually haven't filled it out for the past two days and I really need to get back into it, but it is bearable. It's actually a pretty new app, so I will, like, totally plug it. That's so cool, Okay. I love that. And I think that's huge, especially for just like meeting the basic selfcare stuff. And like, I love that you said getting your nutrients in because you like, you're noticing. You're like, I will feel sluggish if I'm not having my nutrients. And then it's like just this vicious cycle that just keeps going,
Okay. What are, I guess, some of your hopes and goals? Like, where do you hope to see yourself? Because when we're in that, like dark, heavy place, it's like there's no inspiration. And so you sound like inspired and motivated and like you're taking action. So yeah, like, what inspires you? I would say the number one things that are inspiring to me right now are.
Definitely continuing with my podcast. I have a podcast called The Bipolar ******. I'll just shamelessly plug it here. But I love just talking to my ladies and talking about what we're talking about here. so your podcast, so that's something that inspires you. Yeah. And then also just helping people get their get their goals, so despite mental illness. So we all have these things kind of hanging over us sometimes and it's hard not to think of them as things that are just hindering us. So kind of not, not. Turning around, I'm not one to think that you have to have like a positive play or a silver lining on your mental illness if you don't want to have one. So I'm I personally don't want to have one. I think that they're ******** and I hate them. So if you want to have one, that's great and I'm happy for you that you want to have one but the whole. Thing of
helping people get their goals Despite that mental illness, Despite that thing hanging over their head and finding finding their goals even. Because you lose your goals like you were talking about. It's so easy to lose your goals when you are in depressions, and that's something I can 100% speak on because I have in my.
Time like around the time that I was getting diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was also in a job that I didn't have the greatest boss and it was causing me to get into a severe depression and make me think I didn't want my goals anymore like I didn't want to be. I'm also an engineer, so that also gets me fired up. And it had me thinking that I didn't want to be an engineer anymore and I was doing all these other things, frantically trying to figure out what I was going to do other than engineering. And that's how I found podcasting. And it's beautiful. I love podcasting. But it is also like, so hard to feel like you are incapable of doing your job and like you have. Every day you go into work and you're kind of a little bit afraid because you're so anxious and you're so unsure of what's going to get thrown at you.
That's so interesting that you say, like, I'm an engineer and I'm proud of that and I'm excited by it. But at one point I was like, you were in like a panic, like going to give it up and we like grasp onto all these other things and. Yeah, I just think that's so wild because we totally all do that. And especially I think since just social media and like comparison and just everybody else's lives are in our face nonstop. So it's like okay. Well, yes, I enjoy this thing, but this person, this person, this person, they're doing this. So I should probably do something closer to that and we will move away from our goals and that doesn't feel good either. Like, that's absolutely terrifying it that. Self abandonment and something else that I just popped back into my head from what you had said earlier was like with your habit tracking, doing, getting into the body and like just any type of connecting there. That is a piece that always interests me because a lot of people describe a sense of numbness. Like emotional numbness, like feeling nothing. And I think we all do really separate through the day, our body and our mind. You know, sometimes I go home like at the end of a busy work day, and I feel like I have to like. Put my head back in my body if that makes sense. Like get grounded I guess because we spend so much time in our heads like thinking and being intellectual and over analyzing and communicating
and and we do forget to get grounded and come back in to our bodies. Yeah, absolutely. I think we have to have that grounding scheduled in of some sort, whatever it works for you to. To be grounded, to feel like. And for me, it also helps to have, like, that deep sense of gratitude. So one of my grounding is going outside and playing ball with my dogs in the mornings when I get home from work, because it's just such a thing that brings me back into my body. I don't know why, but it's like I'm so gratuitous that it brings me back into my body, yes. Ooh, I love that. That's interesting. That's really similar to mine is walking my dog and like, if I notice I'm in that tunnel vision space of like, thinking, thinking, thinking, I will like look at her and she's just like that, that that her ears are flopping all over the place. And then then I try and take her and I'm like, OK, you are so cute. I'll like, start talking to her. I'll start being like, oh, look at that bird, oh, look at these leaves and just like getting really. Be in touch with our surroundings and, like, having that level of gratitude is huge. We really take that for granted. Yeah, that gratitude. And I think it's also like that connection with nature and that connection with another being. Yes, yes, it's so good. Okay. I'm wondering if we can go into trauma at all. And you don't like just share as much as you want to, But what is your take on trauma and how can people build resiliency through challenging times and and work toward processing their trauma? And I think we have like since COVID a whole bunch of people who are like, yeah, like we hear trauma spoken about all the time like
it used to be just like first responders. Army vets and like firefighters, we're talking about PTSD or any kind of big T, little T traumas with those folks. But now it's we literally hear about it all the time. So and I feel like that's a since COVID thing, but there's also I'm sure a group of people who
don't. Haven't fully grasped the effect that our past experiences can have on our present day, and the importance of not clinging onto that, but processing it, moving through it so that we can learn more about ourselves and grow on the other side. What's your take on all that?
I would say that the whole.
I guess you're talking just the whole concept of like trauma and like people not really accepting that they their past has an effect on right now. Yeah,
I think that that is so true and so true that people have trouble accepting it because like for so long I had trouble accepting that these things. That had to do with past experiences. I still have trouble accepting that some of my past experiences might have trauma involved with them, because it's hard to say this experience was traumatic for me. Sometimes. It's hard to say that when, like you've said, you've had these traumas, you've been denied your your emotions for so long and you are.
Kind of getting back into your back into your body back into your feelings back into being able to speak your truth.
It's I love that you say that and just that full allowing and accepting of being in your body and what your actual truth is cuz so often we try and escape it and. It's funny, I was just thinking this morning, like, I have a few dreams that are on my heart right now and I'm feeling really inspired for a number of different things and like trying to figure out if it's that, like grasping that you're talking about or which ones are like true for me. And this morning I was thinking, I don't even know how this thought popped into my head, but it was like Priya. I think you're waiting until you turn into Mary Kate and Ashley to do your dreams. And I'm like, that's a trauma like just being like 1/2 black person growing up with like having like Mary Kate and Ashley as my role models or like Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera or like Paris Hilton. Like those were my role models growing up essentially. And just so even coming to that. The recognition of like, you aren't going to be that. Like, that's not the version of you that needs to come forward. Like that is not your truth. And just holding on to that for so long, like we get very stuck and I feel like. People might not even recognize that they they can. They hold on to these, these images of what they think they're supposed to be and like how truly traumatizing that can be when you're not accepting yourself, you just keep rejecting yourself. Yeah, and it's so hard to identify. Like, it's so cool that you've identified where you're getting some of yours from. Because I know for me, it's so hard to identify where my image of where I'm supposed to be, who I'm supposed to be, is coming from. Because in a lot of ways, I got, I got some of it for my parents, but I got a lot of it from media
and people around me, my friends in elementary school, even. So all of those things have that impact. And like, you don't have to like dig in and like figure out all of these things, but it's so interesting when you do and start being like, oh, I can heal that little girl by talking to her and seeing, seeing how I can help. See how I can be there for her now? Yeah, I love that. And I like the idea of taking a a curious approach. Like, yeah, how can I be there for her now? And we have so many different skills now than than you had when you were eight years old, like. Watching Mary Kate and Ashley or like whatever your thing is, like you have had so many different experiences and connections and and just interactions since then. Like what do you need now and just being like truly curious about it because we do get. So like I said before, I guess tunnel vision.
Is there any advice? Do you have any advice that you'd like to? Share with folks maybe going through their own diagnosis journey, or even if they're not looking for a diagnosis, if they are in some kind of like a depressive state or just like feeling that sense of hopelessness, numbness, anything, Anything you want to share with people, Maybe a couple Nuggets of wisdom. I would say my biggest nugget is honestly to start setting up your own care team, whoever that looks like, for you And for some people, it's not. For me, it's a therapist and a psychiatrist, and then my boyfriend's a part of my care team and my mom and dad. But for for everybody, it looks different. It can be a a good group of friends as part of your care team. Like I go to this friend for this and this friend for this. Or it can be a doctor and a therapist, if that's what you need. So really sit down with yourself and ask what do I need? And I always recommend therapy because therapists are like, kind of like
you're. I can't think of the word like a consultant. That's the word. They're a consultant on the way. To a better life like. So if your problem is I'm having a lot of depression right now. They're a consultant for helping you figure out that depression. If you're looking for the therapist in the right way and you really. Nowadays I love COVID because it's it's made it so that therapy is online 90% of the time. So you can find a therapist that's really for you in your state or your area and not just. I know sometimes I would struggle with this early on before COVID. I would just get therapists who treated addiction and then it would be really triggering for me because a lot of my trauma is around people who were addicts and people who had addiction and are in recovery now. And I love them. But there's a lot of trauma surrounding addiction for me. So it was hard when I would walk into therapy and the first question they would ask is, have you used today?
But, but yeah, I just. I think it's so important to go to go see a therapist, get a care team. And if it's not a therapist, if you like, are not for therapy, definitely have a care team. Still have a plan for who you go to when you're feeling a certain way. I love that, especially cuz the default is to isolate and that it feels easier and that. We are a burden and that I'm not going to go to this thing because I don't want to, you know, have to be social with people. I don't want to have to interact. I don't want to have to fake it. Our default is to not for everybody. Some people really do reach out and lean on others, but I think for a lot of folks it is to just. Withdraw. And so that's so neat like that. And I I don't think people give themselves enough credit. Like when you are going through something and your default is to withdraw or isolate and you're able to use your voice and speak up, communicate your needs, set a boundary, lean on somebody, literally even text somebody like hey, I'm doing really ****** don't ask me about it. I will send you a message tomorrow to let you know that I'm OK. Just wanted to, like, keep you in the loop. That's a skill. Like, that's a skill set, deepening your ability
to communicate with others how you're feeling and like using different neural pathways in your brain than the old ones. Like, I love that you bring up that, having your own care team, because that's such a skill. So cool. Yeah, and it's it's my favorite skill that I've built to be honest. Love that. That's so amazing. Is there anything else you wanna share? And also let people know where they can find you. Find your podcast. The whole shebang. So I am the bipolar ****** everywhere. So I am the_bipolar_badass
on Instagram because of course somehow that username is taken even though it doesn't exist anywhere else. So Oh my God. But everywhere else I'm the Bible or ****** straight, and I just kind of like to post about life with bipolar. And now that I have a borderline personality disorder diagnosis, I guess that too. But it's just kind of, I say I'm hiking through life with them, so I like to hike. So I'm just journeying through life with something that's a little tough like everybody else. Everybody has something that's a little tough they're journeying with so. That's so beautiful. I love the way you put that in. Yeah. I hope folks go follow you and listen to your podcast. And it sounds amazing. I'm so excited for you to hike on this journey. Yes. Thank you for coming on. This has been so great. Yeah, absolutely. I absolutely loved it. Thank you for having me.