Tap-in to this transformative group chat!! We talk all things birth, death, life and aliveness in the most light, open, and explorative way. Join me, Nancy McNicoll, Persis Abraham, & Korinna Brockman for this beautiful, high-vibe conversation!
In today's episode, we discuss:
Connect with Persis
Connect with Nancy
Connect with Korinna
Bria Wannamaker, RP.
@betterboundariespodcast
www.briawannamaker.com
Support the show, buy COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
As always, please remember that these podcast episodes are for educational purposes only and are not a substitute for medical healthcare or mental healthcare. Podcasts are available as an educational and entertainment resource and are not advice, recommendations, or suggestions. Please seek out the necessary professional services if you require assistance.
Tap-in to this transformative group chat!! We talk all things birth, death, life and aliveness in the most light, open, and explorative way. Join me, Nancy McNicoll, Persis Abraham, & Korinna Brockman for this beautiful, high-vibe conversation!
In today's episode, we discuss:
Connect with Persis
Connect with Nancy
Connect with Korinna
Bria Wannamaker, RP.
@betterboundariespodcast
www.briawannamaker.com
Support the show, buy COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
As always, please remember that these podcast episodes are for educational purposes only and are not a substitute for medical healthcare or mental healthcare. Podcasts are available as an educational and entertainment resource and are not advice, recommendations, or suggestions. Please seek out the necessary professional services if you require assistance.
Okie Dokie welcome everybody starts off with Okie Dokie. Okie dokie. That's the way you gotta do it. Honestly. Welcome to the Better Boundaries Podcast. I'm so pumped. I'm here with Karina, Nancy and persist and we are going to have a freaking awesome chat. Today, I mean, I want to say it's going to be about like religion, spirituality, all that good stuff, but we'll see where it goes. We just, we like the flow here. So yeah, maybe everyone give an intro on who you are, what makes you feel alive, and maybe the religious background that you grew up with. Whoever wants to go first, we'll go like that. I can go first if you guys want. Love it. Yeah, so I'm persis. So nice to meet you all over screen. I'm the host of girl On Girl Podcast, which is a gay podcast. I started with my best friend about two years ago now. It was kind of like a little pandemic project and has just expanded to so much more, which I'm grateful for. The premise of it is basically having a straight perspective and a gay perspective come together to talk about all the things. You know, like our dating lives, we talk about sex, we talk about taboos and labels and pop culture gets thrown in there too. And we've had the opportunity to interview some incredible guests as well on our podcast. And one of them was weepy Dobson, which was a big deal for both of us. Yeah.
So yeah, that is a little bit about me, but in terms of my religious background, I actually grew up in. Like a through a Catholic school board. My household was actually never religious. My dad is an atheist and my mom is a little bit more spiritual. So even in the House we never really practiced any religion and I myself identify as a little bit more spiritual as well. I grew up in like a Catholic system. Yeah, high school and elementary school. So interesting and like to have. Such contrast, like both with between both parents and at school. Something different. Yeah. And I wanna get into afterward, like after intros. Like, I wanna talk about like how it's impacted you now. But hold that thought, cuz yeah, that's dope. Okay, sweet. Who's next? I can go next. My name is Karina. I am a human design guide and a Reiki master.
What lights me up? Honestly, exploration of life is probably one of the most funnest that's a word things ever. I grew up in a very religious, very strict church. And upbringing and unlike any other religion out there. So I was a little bit the odd person out. I was the weird girl at school. People couldn't understand what my what my religion was. And leaving my family home I all of a sudden it was like the world just like exploded around me and I was able to explore life in a way that I've never seen before and different. Modalities and different ideas and different concepts and like looking in words to self and it's honestly just like being every single day in this thing that we call life in this vessel that's carrying me until, you know, it chooses to perish, has been one of the coolest, has been really cool and I love. That's what really gets me going, you know, getting people feeling aligned with who they are.
Love that. And yeah, I I think it's so neat where you've come from and like where you are now. And I know we've talked about it like on previous podcast episodes, more in depth about your upbringing. And yeah, I think it's neat that you say what lights you up is like learning, because I'm really feeling that heavily too, like each day waking up, feet hit the ground and it's like, cool. What can I learn about today? And at the end of the day, it's like a bit of burnout and exhaustion from it. But then the next day, it's like, I'm excited to learn and grow through life again. It's like staying curious. Stay curious. Yeah, stay curious. Yeah. Nancy, take it away. Awesome. Hello, I'm Nancy. I am an identity doula. And one of my favorite things about that position is like, I get to witness people go through like self transformations and actually meet themselves like who they truly are beneath a lot of the social conditioning that we experience. And with my background in behavioral psychology and counseling psychology, I feel like I'm able to provide
like a container, like a framework that really helps people see. Why they became the way that they were and it helps them like unravel those patterns and systems that they've internalized that they don't actually relate to, that are so far from the line from them that it's just like this constant shedding. So I love being part of the messy bits in people's transformations, which is why I consider myself a doula, and that is that. Tying into my passion, my favorite thing is going through deconstructions in myself. Terrifying and messy and rob. But the strength that comes through that is honestly what keeps me going because I feel like I go a little crazy trying to understand life and like what's happening around me that it's easy to TuneIn. To myself, so being raised in a Roman Catholic background, there's a lot of themes of like shame and guilt and fear as motivating factors. And I think in this part of like my journey and also what I'm helping my clients through is like how how do we create life after that, when you recognize the systems are no longer aligned for you and you want to step off the ride, which you will always have the power to do, like what's after what's, figure it out and like find a path for you. And if there isn't one, let's create one.
OK? I like that you say you're here for the messy bits. Like, and the shedding that really hit home with me. I think it's interesting listening to you all speak and intro yourselves and have that moment of like confidence, like this is who I am. This is what I do. And I'm sitting here at like starting to get smaller and smaller. I can feel my inside shrinking. I'm like, what do we do? What what do you do? I don't know who you are. These are like confident, powerful people. What do you do, Bria? Like who are you? Just that like ego freak out. And so I like that piece of we're constantly shedding and growing and there is a self and then there's a death and then there's an evolution in this birth of the new self. So I'm here for it. I think that's amazing. And. Yeah, interesting. So I also grew up Catholic and, you know, my mom was a teacher in Catholic schools, but she never really like, hit the Bible at home or anything. But my grandparents do my Nana and I just, I spent a lot of time with them growing up and I haven't realized until later how much that has, like impacted. Me in my life. It's so interesting because the only thing I remember about church when I was little was like eating certs. Do you guys know Certs? What is that? Oh my God,
they're so good. I feel like nobody knows about the. I don't know, my Nana always had them in her purse. They're like sort of a mint hard candy Mentos, but crunchy. I don't know, I'm. Sign in a petition to bring Certs back. Bring them back. Yes. Like that's all I remember about church was like Nana has Certs in her purse. But then as we grow older things come up like the like, Lord, I'm not worthy to receive you type of deal. Like sins type of deal. Nancy's like yes. Amen. Yeah, what is that anyway? Let's do like a free for all kind of chat and and see where we go diving in on like what things are like now, what's important to us now in in this spiritual religion, alignment, connection, growth type of bad.
I think the biggest thing that I've you know I look back on my life and what what that was like. Being in the church and I look back on it with, I mean with some fear but a lot of fondness because what it really did is it set a base or set a foundation for me of having a faith. And even though even when I was really, really young, like 14 years old, the what I was learning in the church didn't make sense to me, the fact that. They weren't inclusive to everyone, like you had to be a certain way and you were shunned. If you were anything else other than this, you had to dress a certain way. You had to act a certain way. And like that, like so much of the Church's teachings, confused me as a child. But it established a faith in me so that once I left that church and once I started to explore in my 20s. I knew that there was something, I just didn't know what it looked like for me, and so I spent a really long time in figuring out what is spirituality for me. So I am so grateful for all of that that I experienced one, because it makes a great story, and two, because it gave me a really good foundation to of of discernment of like what feels right for me and what doesn't feel right for me.
I love that and anyone. Also feel free to jump in. I know that like y'all probably have comments and y'all are natural interviewers and podcasters as well. So yeah, we can make it a round table, but so neat that you say Karina like, it established this faith in me and I'm I'm seeing like even in therapy sessions like people who may have or not have. A spiritual or religious upbringing and the that foundation of faith has been avoided or like they're completely running the opposite way from it and have no belief in anything, which I feel it can be a scary place to be and I don't know, maybe persist. You can speak to that and like what you've seen with your dad, but it's. Yeah. I feel like it's a scary place to be because we have there hasn't been anything like this is all theories. Like nothing is solid set in stone. This is the way it is. Like I was looking at the moon last time. Yeah like we're floating on this ball in. It's not like we can see God. It's not like you know we he comes into our room and he like chats with us or source or the universe like it's not it's not this tangible thing it's literally faith in. Something that you cannot see, but you can feel it. So that's why to me it's like I can't feel something. What is that thing? Yeah, the way you said too, it's all theory. Like, really, really hit because, yeah, like. I my parents, it was like a very different situation to my house compared to when I went to school with like all these Catholic teachings like being instilled in us. And I even remember a religion teacher I had who was like, oh, many uncomfortable situations with him when I was in high school. And also being gay, the way he made me feel was awful. So even for me and my relationship with spirituality, I think it was always that feeling I had inside that like.
There are things that are like meant to be for you. And I'm. I'm someone who's very much a believer in the universe and just allowing things to happen. And it if it's meant for you, it will come back. And I think those are things that also help me get through some hardships in my life, especially when I was a teen feeling really confused about who I was supposed to be with, who I am. I feel so different. I grew up in like, Whitby ON too, so it wasn't it was very heteronormative and not a very safe space for. A young gay brown girl, right. So I just, I think feeling spiritual and kind of knowing that I think we all have like a purpose is what kept me going. But I'm also kind of there, too, sometimes. I'm like, I don't. What are we doing? What is this? What are we doing on this earth? You know, it's it's funny when you look back at it. It is funny and like, if you look at like a model of the solar system, like we've just accepted that there's like all these floating balls. Yeah. If anyone's like, wondering about these gloves. Like, I have eczema, so I've like loaded my hands with cream. Not just wearing boogie gloves for this interview. I was helping some magic trick, you know? I'm really talk with my hands for my next trick. Yeah. **** I thought I looked boogie. You think I looked like a magician? Damn. Magicians can also be bougie bria. I'm just saying. Yeah. But like we've all accepted that we're just like, there's these floating balls and we're on one and we just like don't fall off and stuff like you've accepted that, but then other things are harder for us to accept and to move through. And
I think that, yeah, I think, well, I think fear, like. Once you start, I mean, even if there's some people that are even scared of the universe because of how vast it is and what it does is it makes you become so small. And I mean, I hate to say it this way, but insignificant, you know, in comparison to the entire universe and what's out there and that, that can be a very overwhelming and very terrifying feeling for a lot of people. That's scary. That's really scary to sit and think about that and to think about like. Then then that's like, well, what's my impact and what's my purpose and what are we doing here anyways? Like, it's a very overwhelming thought to sit and contemplate, you know, let alone that, you know, there's there's an orchestration and that we're all connected and that, yes, the planets do affect us. And you know,
well, on that note, I think that's why religion is so appealing to people, right? It provides a story. To understand the uncertainty and unfortunately what I've noticed within my own experiences of religion and looking at like the language that's used to describe the relationship that we have with God and each other, like there's a manipulation of our fear of disconnection, that to survive we need to belong somewhere, we need to be part of a community. We need to feel. Safe with others, but also as an individual right? Like just knowing that people see me and they want me here. And religion does a great job of saying, well you belong here so long as you follow our way of doing things. Right. And that creates this whole crisis of identity that I see so often in people who have left organized religion and taken a more free flowing path that they might deem a spirituality or even just like exploration, right? Not even fully knowing what it is that they start to build a different sense of security that isn't actually rooted in fear, right? They start to see like, even though I've been told I'm significant in the grand scheme of things. Maybe I am actually significant. Maybe just me existing is significant and I don't have to do or have this big purpose to be here on purpose. Preach it, Nancy. Goosebumps. I love that. Wow. Can't even just. Existing is significant. Like that's huge. And you like in therapy right now, I'm seeing so many kids and teenagers who are literally asking why am I alive? Why am I here and just feeling completely insignificant. And I think
that that's when just as I'm talking, this is coming to me. But like. When we're in that stage and we feel those things, that's when the ego will probably start to like, cling to things. Like we're talking about our how we are identifying, like with our purpose at the beginning and just like grasping on to those things. Okay, I am this. So I meant to be here. Okay, I am this. Here's who I am. So when I'm seeing these kiddos who are like suicidal and you know, why am I here? What? What is this? Why am I alive? It's that's an interesting point to be at.
I remember being at that point like I remember my teenagers were so angsty and I was in the 90s and his 90s grunge music, which was like perfect like Vibe too because like, I was so angsty all the time. Why am I here? What's the point of all of this? Like this can't just be it. Oh, I'm just supposed to meant. You meant to, like, get married and have kids. That's it. That's all you're supposed to do. Like, what else? Yeah, I feel that. Yeah. Those expectations. Like as we're growing up, that's also what I thought too. It's just what what we're taught. It's the expectation. And there's many times and you're like, but what is this like cycle? Is this what life is? Yeah, exactly. It's so it's just the same thing over and that's that's it. I remember that can't be it exactly. And I actually remember as a kid, like crying to my mom, like I was very, very young. But being like I never want to give birth. Like I'm so scared because I felt like everyone just had to like that's just what I was, you know, as a kid. Like kind of seeing that in my family, seeing that like with older people, you know, like in my tiny suburb. And truly the sitting my mom down crying because like. I was just so scared and she's like, Oh my gosh, you don't have to. And I remember being like relieved and mind you, I was like 6 years old just being like, oh good, it's not expected of me. Like, yeah, for sure. Interestingly, I didn't have that process come through as fully until like a couple years ago, like in my mid 20s that. I clung on to the identity that I watched all the women in my family experienced that they were to be the fully devoted wives and mothers. Everybody was a stay at home Mom. They all sacrificed their career and they all said that they found purpose in their role in the family. But then all of them were pressuring me to go get an education. You don't have time to date right now. That's not your priority. So, like, they were pushing me into this direction of what they perceived as freedom, but I perceived as like a delay in me fulfilling
my purpose as a wife and mother. And then the longer I was in school and the more I learned about family systems, I was like, wait a second. Are we all traumatized? Are we all like holding on to this idea that our worth comes from what we give other people? And the message that I continued to receive was women or people who suffered more were rewarded more for their faith, for their belief in the potential of something to get better. And if you could just endure a little bit more than you were like a strong and you were a St. and like I aspired to be in. Hurtful situation to take the higher road and be like no, no, I still see the love when really I wanted to like, scream and burn it all down. And that like, it led to a complete,
like denial of self that I didn't realize I was queer until literally last year at the end of my master's degree when I was like. So wait a second. I think I'd like women a little more than just friends the year before that, realizing, like, hey, I don't actually fully identify as a woman. And when I broke it down, like that promise, it felt like of like the nuclear family and those gendered stereotypes and roles. It gave me the sense of security, but it was a false security. Right. And it was a security that consistently told me everything that I felt inside was wrong and that I just needed to endure and that I would be rewarded after. I don't know how I got to that point. And what I was saying. I wrote down 7 words and we ended up here. So I'm just going to stop. But it's so good and like, rewarded for enduring hardships and. That's something I've been grappling. Oh, I love that word. That's something I've been grappling with lately is when is the cutoff in terms of like, I'm going to work through challenging things versus, like you said, coming from a wounded place. Like, oh, I can still see the love. Like, I I still have compassion towards this and I'm going to stay in this and I'm going to endure this. Versus when is it a coming from a place of self worth and moving into a different path? Like how do we differentiate between those? What are your guys's thoughts?
I think it's different for everybody. I think that we all learn and explore life in different ways. Some people are here, especially if you look through it through the lens of human design. Some people are here to learn through experimentation who are here to, you know, live a life of trial and error to figure things out, to then see the the sun on the other side. Some people it flows a little bit easier. Some you know, I think all of our paths are different and even how we choose if even if we choose to have a faith or not. It doesn't make someone more or less worthy of it. It's just our path. And you know, there's 8 billion people in the world, and we are all. We're all here to live our own unique lives and to learn lessons and to experience loss and heartbreak and love. You know, unconditional love, passion and curiosity. It's just whether or not we choose to live life that way or we choose to be like I'm too scared I'm gonna I'm gonna hide and that's okay too you you can be scared and you can hide. You know that's that's totally fine. I'm a big believer in, you know everything is energy and we all reincarnate so we're constantly learning lessons. I believe in Karma. Like I believe in all of that. So.
All of our paths are so unique, but we all are worthy and we're all we all can experience those moments of pure bliss in any given moment if we just choose to see it, even on the darkest of days. Like, I don't know about any of you guys, but there's been times where I've been like screaming, crying into my my pillow, feeling like feeling like the universe has completely forgotten about me. Like I'm. I'm going nowhere in life and my heart keeps breaking. I don't understand what's the point of it all? And then there's just that little moment of peace. Like, but you have to choose to see it. You have to be open. You have to have your heart space open just a little bit to receive it.
I love that you said that. That really resonated with me, actually. It just reminded me of a time when I was going through. A big heartbreak situation it would have been in the summer of 2021 and was just feeling a little lost. And like similar to that, like, does the universe forgotten about me? I was always like, I have like a rough card when it comes to love, just for me specifically in that moment. And I remember being in BC and my friends and I climbed up the mountain in Squamish and I just had a moment of like, life is beautiful just being on the top of that mountain. And being so high up, being like, we tracked up this like it was a 5 hour day just to get up there. And I just had a moment of like pure bliss and peace and just thought, I'm, I'm happy. Because lots of things like in my life that I've gone through, I feel like have led me up into this moment today. And I was actually even talking about that with my girlfriend the other day, just being like all these things that were kind of like. I would see is really rough in my past, which my heart has been through a lot. I really feel like it happened for a reason and there were lessons I needed to learn and it shaped me into who I am today. So yeah but kind of back to what Bri was mentioning about Brio was mentioning about like what lights you up. I think like being in nature too. Like those moments of like it's it hits me somewhere. Being on a mountain, being by the water, it just makes you think like the earth is really beautiful. Unexplainable. Yeah. So many people. I mean, it's there's enough science and everything around it now about how how important us to be in nature is because nature in itself, like remove human beings out of it. It's stunning. Like watch a Sunset, watch a sunrise. Like the sunset last night here in Kingston was gorgeous. All the different colors of red and orange and purple and pink and like, what? That in itself, just taking that moment,
that present moment and just watching that sunset is so incredible. Watching the fractals of the trees and like, life around us is so beautiful that if and it's so healing for each and every one of us to get out in nature by yourselves and just like be right and just looking around like nature is so, so, so healing.
It's interesting. Like over the past couple of days, nature has come up so much for me in conversation. So like 100% being called to like do something. It's like literally spend this weekend outside at least for a few hours. And before we sat down to chat, I had like written a few things on like what? I guess spiritual beliefs like I have like what it means to me right now where I'm at on this journey. And for me it's two things like simple like reduced down, like Capricorn's son. We got to have some tangible results here that we can grasp onto. OK, so two things, connection to self, for God, whatever is within internally and connection to others. Slash nature. So something external from us. And if we have one without the other, I feel that that leads to disease, illness, just a general sense of discomfort, imbalance, yes, imbalance. That's the word. And like so if we have one without the other. We're not existing in our whole state. What are your thoughts on on all of that and even more on the importance of nature. It
definitely resonate with everything that you just shared of like relation to self and then relation to others. And what comes to mind is there's two things. The first one is wondering why we separate nature from others. That I think we've limited ourselves in seeing our community as only human based, because I'm going to be real honest with everybody. My cats are part of my community. They might have four legs and we don't speak the same language, but like the lessons they've taught me in the few years that I've had cats is way more than any of my human relationships have taught me in certain instances. And when I'm out of the nature, like I feel surrounded. By community. And it feels like they're the ones saying, like, why are you forgetting me, right? We're so focused on the universe, forgetting us, that we've forgotten a huge part of the universe is like literally existing around us. And what I heard in every one of your shares just now was the element of perspective. That that piece in the moment of like everything is burning down around me and I'm in so much pain, is the piece comes from a new perspective. Right. And not understanding who I am or how I can show up in this place, what changes that is perspective. Going outside is literally changing what you're seeing because you're not in your house anymore, right? And all of those pieces come together and we noticed, like, hey, what if we could do something different? Like what if we don't have to subscribe to this anymore? What if? But if we can make a different choice and we can see things differently. Like, that's scary, right? To walk away from everything that's been comfortable and everything that's expected to willingly choose to walk into uncertainty. Like, I think that's where the faith comes back in of. For me, spirituality is knowing, like no
matter what path I choose, I will always have community. I will always be part of something bigger than me, even if I can't see it. And just by being part of that, I myself am significant. That I don't have to do anything. I don't have to see or be anyone. I can just by existing again, be part of everything that's here.
Ooh Nancy ****. Wow. That really hit Rob. Oh my God. Preet and wow. I love the piece on perspective. And it's like purses literally had to climb to the top of a mountain to get a new perspective to be like have a healing moment. So interesting. Yeah. Honestly, I like. I got really excited when you mentioned BC persist because I'm moving there this year exactly for that reason, because I'm like mountains and ocean, I need a complete rewiring of perspective. I I'm terrified of the ocean. It's because I'm terrified of my emotions, obviously. But I feel like the power of the ocean has the strength to hold the power of like my emotionality and the mountains. Like it's just so magical. It's a different world out there. I've, I've considered moving to, I've been in Toronto for 10 years and I love Toronto. It's it's in itself too, I think is so beautiful and I love a busy city. But even spending time in the summer in BCI was like even if I was there for a year, I think it would be really healing for me to to have that option to like go climb a mountain on the weekend casually. You know, like go go to the beach, like spend the whole day at the beach and it's like steps away from your house. Yeah. That's something I'm considering. So I'm excited for you. That's amazing. Thank you. Yeah.
Damn. Oh, hey, are there any, I guess, final notes, anything that we feel has come through or needs?
I don't want to say closure, but yeah, anything that's come through.
I just want to say I very much appreciate this call. This speech has just been like so turbulent and I have been the grumpiest of deals every single day. And even within like the 1st 15 minutes of this call, I just completely felt it shift and got that perspective myself of like you still have this right? Like they're still grounding and there's still exploration and and people who are on the same type of journey and can empathize with the struggles of like. Figuring this out as you go. So I'm just very, very grateful for all of you and being able to have this container pre. I never, I never want us to get one with that that you offer because it's always just so feeling and transformative to be in this container. Yeah. What a way to start the weekend.
I love that and thank you. Yeah, like I appreciate all of you so much. And that's actually. Interesting. Just like expressing your gratitude even in itself. I've realized so much like how I don't appreciate myself and also it translates to how I don't appreciate others. And like you said we have abandoned nature at times and they're like hello the trees, why don't you appreciate me? So I think that's a huge piece is just how can we be appreciative of ourselves and and you would even mention Nancy like just. I'm scared of the ocean cuz I'm scared of my emotions but how can we? I've been working on to like opening up heart space of appreciating like especially I'm very rushed, late person on a regular basis, every single day, every moment of every day. So I've been trying to when I get to that stressed part. Because it's we repeat those patterns. When I get to the stressed part of the rushing that is my regular routine that my nervous system is so addicted to saying even out loud like, okay, I appreciate you for feeling stressed right now. I appreciate you for feeling rushed. You know, it really means you care about what you got to be at next. But like, how do we work through this? So even just having appreciation for different moments in our day, different emotions that we're going through, and that's just create so much openness instead of shutting it down. And because my default before was I'm rushed again, you suck as a human being. Whatever you're going to next, you're going to fail at because you're late and you're an *******. But now it's like, OK. Like, I love you for being rushed. This sucks that it's happening again. I love you for this. Like, I appreciate
this. Yeah. It's giving yourself that grace. Yeah. How we talk to ourselves. I was just going to say that persist. Like, it's interesting how mean we talk to ourselves. It's like we would never let our friends talk to us that way or talk to other people that way, but yet we are OK with how we talk to ourselves like that, you know? Like, no, no, no. We need to. We need to be kind to each ourselves. You know, this is this is our life here. And if we're not kind to ourselves how do we expect other people to be kind to ourselves? So yeah, like it's okay to be late. It's fine. Chances are it's in your human design. Chances are you have an undefined spleen and you're. That's it's okay to be that way. Like yeah. Like you're you're supposed to go in your flow. Like. Like I empower you to go in your flow, you know, like. Well, in that it's it's the validation, right? It's it's the removal of judgment and just acceptance of like. It is what it is, man. Like if you're going to be late, you're going to be late. You can't not be late by stressing about it. But it's so hard because we like having that meaning of why we're doing certain things, right. And those self judgments very often offer us a meaning or a reason for why we're doing something. Oh, you're late because you're unorganized? Okay. Well then you got that identity of like. I'm an organized and it's just never ending feedback loop of just becoming your worst fears. And honestly, I think that's why we're not really nice to each other. We're not being nice to ourselves. Let's just project that so we don't have to face it, right?
Yeah, that's all where it starts, for sure, for sure. And I've, I used to even used to get so hard on myself for having such intense emotions. Actually, I'm a Scorpio moon so I feel. Yeah, I feel like when I tell people that, they're like, oh, that makes a lot of sense. You feel a lot. And I used to get very embarrassed about it because I'd be like, why can't I just chill, honestly? But now I've kind of grown to love that part of myself because it's just shows that I care and I'm a person who feels deeply and I just need to own it. That's going to be me. I'm never going to change that. I'm never going to be cool girl purses where things just. It doesn't matter, right? And I, it took me a while to do that because I was always thinking like, oh, I just feel like I'd be so much happier if I didn't let certain things just like weigh me down. But at the end of the day, like it's okay. And I've kind of, I love it now I I just own it. I'm emotional and that's who I am. But I love a good cry. Like, after, you know, I love it just it helps. It's because again, it's just energy needs to be released. And after a good cry, I'm like, okay, all right, I feel good. What's next? Yeah,
I resonate so hard with that. I cry literally every day, at least twice today. The wind moving a certain way and I'm like, Oh my God, it's like, just a lot of wind is so beautiful. Literally the wildest things. I can't look at my cats for more than 20 seconds without crying. Like there's just. There's such a freedom in allowing yourself to just feel the way your body wants to feel things and not I literally use the schedule crying in undergrad. Okay, I'd be like I'm too busy this week. I will cry on Thursday at 2:37 for six minutes and then I'm good. And like, it's not. And it's just like, it backlogs all of this and we stop ourselves from existing the way that we want to and the way that feels best for us. Like, even throughout this call, I've been so selfconscious about how much I need to move around because sitting still, like, I like my brain can't think, I can't process, I can't receive information, I can't download it. Like it's just I need to be in movement in that right. And I say this to encourage other people. To just let themselves exist that I've heard and all of us, that we're really on this journey of learning who we are and learning to love ourselves. And one of the not easiest. It was very hard at the time, but like one of the best things I did was give myself permission to remove the personas and identities that I had adopted. And like those all had prescribed ways of being and behaving and thinking and even emoting, right? It's like, what happens if we take all of that off, get me to see a new identity. It's I made like such a face when you said like remove the personas and stuff. Like because I the first thing my mind went to was picturing myself at work without a mask. And I'm like, I'm already like, pretty. In integrity with myself at work and on a daily like judging myself, I'm like because I'm like pretty outgoing and just
like, I don't know, I'm weird, I'm so. Like, I love weird people,
weird people, ******* awesome. Like just so good being like, eccentric is the word. And like, I think that I am naturally more an eccentric person, but it's under so many ******* layers. So Nancy, when you had said like take that off, I'm like, it's just so out there, like. What if that could be your magic trick, though? Bria, you have the Vatican right now. Just take it off. It helps if you gamify the process, right? We make things so serious and feel like every decision has to be permanent. Like, I've gone through six different personalities in the last 10 days, guaranteed. And I will probably go through a couple more this weekend. Like there's just such a freedom in how you choose to be. Right. And like you could take off the persona and then be like, actually, I kind of want to put it back on and that's OK, right? Like, it does have to be a forever decision. Yeah.
Any final thoughts before? Would love for each of you to say, like where people can find you and access your work and connect with you and then any final little Nuggets of gold that you have to offer.
Well, I just wanted to say I'm really grateful for this too, Brea for setting up this chat. And I feel like leaving this and getting into the weekend, I'm taking away just like a beautiful perspective on like how to just forgive myself a little bit more. This was very heartwarming. Like my heart's exploding. This is so sweet. Yeah, it really was.
Yeah, me too. I I keep getting. Goosebumps all over my body talking to you like you guys. It's been so I love hearing like different varied perspectives from likeminded people who are just curious and and open to explore. So this has really been so wonderful. Like so, so wonderful. Like right now the sun is shining and just feels so good and it's a long weekend too, so it just feels, yeah, this was really nice. This really filled filled my soul. Yeah, that's a good way to say it. Filled my soul for sure. I love it. I'm hugging me right now, but I'm also hugging all of you.
It's like so inspiring to see other people journey and be so vulnerable and open, because I think there's the lot that we all have to learn, just like watching other people live. It's why would we have to go through the pain of going through that lesson when we could just? Have space to talk about it and then learn from other people. And yeah, I just love all you guys so much. Yeah,
me too. Me too. Yeah, I love you guys too. Thank you so much. I seriously appreciate you all. I'm so thankful we could have these. Interesting and expansive conversations because, like, I don't get to talk about this stuff on a daily basis, but anyone other than myself, really. So I seriously appreciate you. And I know that it will, you know, help other people too, especially in like, if we're talking about a shift in perspective, like that's what this is. And I definitely feel like when you're saying like, this conversation has kind of filled your soul, I feel. Lighter as well, like the weight was heavy on the shoulders and now it's a little bit moved, lifted. So thank you all and yeah, let people know where they can connect with you
for sure. I can start if you want to connect with me on my personal Instagram, it's at Pursis and so that's at PERSISANN.
Or if you wanna keep up with my podcast girl on girl, you can follow us on Instagram at Girl X Girl podcast. And you can also find us on Spotify, Apple, anywhere you can stream podcasts. It's just girl on girl podcast.
You can find me at 35 by design, that's all spelt out. 35 by design for all things human design. Also, my website 35bydesign.com is where you can find me